Home away from home...

My family loves the movie Pitch Perfect.  We might actually have an obsession with it if you account for every time that it has been played in our household. I know that it seems strange for me to bring to the surface one of my family’s many quirks, but it has relevance, I promise! In the movie, Beca (the main character) says to her potential crush, Jesse,

“You have a habit of making yourself at home, did you know that?”

I think he responds with an “uh-huh” or something really profound. If Beca was indeed a real person and we were indeed friends and she said that very same sentence to me, I think I would also mutter “uh-huh.” Actually, I’d probably go with the indisputably more intelligent response of “yeah.” I know, I know. I’m pretty deep.

I think the ability to make yourself at home is both a curse and a blessing. The downfall is that I almost always feel as though I am having to leave home and in turn the ones I love. My true home lies with my family in Allendale and forever will. However, I vividly recall a brutal cycle of missing home while away at college and then going home only to miss my new college home with the same intensity. I made it even harder on myself by moving in with the Ackerman family after college. It is so strange to have the same feeling of coming home as you drive into a multitude of driveways. It should only be one driveway that makes you feel that way. Somehow I have managed to snuggle myself into people’s lives in a way that makes me feel like I am truly home.

A couple days before Christmas this year, I didn’t find a paved driveway, but I stumbled across a dirt road that would lead to my next home.  You see, out of the group of forty-some people in our training group, 7 of us would be eventually living in working in western Uganda. Uganda has a plethora of languages that are spoken within its borders. The western region speaks two, almost identical, languages called Runyoro and Rutooro. The Peace Corps requires that we go through 4 weeks of language training before we head to our final sites. The 7 of us who would be in western Uganda (Brittany, Madison, Mike, Rachel B, Rachel C, Ravi, and myself) were sent to Hoima, Uganda to complete our language training in Runyoro/Rutooro. The Peace Corps also requires that during our language training, we live with a pre-selected family to help us learn the language and cultural intricacies of the Ugandan people.

We all were dropped off at a school in Hoima called St. Bernadetta’s. There, we were ushered into a main hall where some of our parents awaited us.  This is where I met Maama Akiiki.

**Side note: Those who live in regions that speak Runyoro/Rutooro are unique. Part of the region’s culture is that when you are born, you are assigned an empaako, or pet name. The region has a list of twelve names from which you can choose. My mom’s real first name is Teddy, but she is known by her empaako, Akiiki, as well.**

We sat and talked for a little bit, exchanging introductions and all that jazz, and then we decided to head to her house. It’s an interesting thing to meet someone you are going to live with for the first time…

Maama Akiiki is a hardworking woman, still strong at age 65. Her husband, who taught blind students at a nearby school, died in 1999.  They had built a home together, cultivated the land, and raised many children.  She birthed 9 children and five are still living. They all have kids and Maama Akiiki, at one point or antother, has taken care of all of them.  One came with her that day- a grandson named Pascal. He is 15 now, but he has lived with her since he was 3 months old. I also found out that another of her grandchildren stays with her. Her name is Vivian and she is 3 years old. In return for all the love that Maama Akiiki has given, her family often sends people to come and take care of her. A nephew of hers, Michael, is 20 and he comes during his school holidays to take care of the household business. On top of that, it is common for families to have a house child. Christina is the house child at Maama Akiiki’s. She is 16 and takes care of most of the household chores and cooking.

I’m diverting… Pascal and Maama Akiiki took me home to meet the family.

By meet the family I mean everyone in the neighborhood comes by to see the white person. Most of them thought I was from Germany. They always think you are from Germany, Italy, or the UK. I gently corrected them in the little bit of Runyoro/Rutorro that I knew. They showed me to my room, which in my mind was absolutely perfect and left me to kind of unpack.  Unpacking is hard to do when you know you will be leaving in just a few weeks.

 I emerged from my room to find that dinner preparations were in full swing.  That night was some of the best food I have had in Uganda. Maama Akiiki is legit.  That night also began the slow process of getting to know my new family. Immeadiately, Maama Akiiki made me feel like her daughter. The kids took a little longer to get to know. At first I thought Maama Akiiki was a slave driver because of all the work that everyone (including me) had to do.  However, I came to understand that it is a part of their culture. They love coming to work for Maama and she is loving toward them. Many hands make light work.

I found that Michael wants to be a doctor someday. He is maybe one of the most literal people I have ever met (he never got my jokes..) but he also might be the most helpful person I have ever met. It was like he could read my mind if I was uncertain about how I was supposed to do something. Next thing I knew, he was quietly demonstrating exactly what I needed to do.  Christina is full of life. I don’t always understand the dynamics of a house child with a family, but I do know that Maama Akiiki is kind and treats Christina like one of her own as well, and because of that, Christina is light-hearted. Vivian… She is our 3-year old pistol. She has dimples and knows how to use them! When she is happy, she is the cutest thing on the planet earth. When she is unhappy, she lets you know, usually by a glare that insinuates if she doesn’t get her way soon, we are going to be sorry. I love it. That brings us to Pascal, who is the most sarcastic Ugandan I have met yet. He is the exact opposite of Michael in personality and they compliment each other well. Pascal also loves to pester Vivian. She talks the most when she is talking back to him. He does it playfully and she would follow him anywhere because of that. Pascal would often send me in to fits of giggles.

Visitors come and go in Maama Akiiki’s house, but it is important that I tell you about one visit. Her youngest brother’s wife (please keep up) came to visit one day, bringing her daughter, Flossy. It is like pulling teeth to get that girl to talk to you. PULLING TEETH. For a while, I thought she didn’t know Runyoro/Rutooro or English. Then her mom announced that she was going to leave Flossy to help with household chores for the rest of break and Flossy turned to tell me she was so happy that she got to spend more time with me.  After breaking the barrier, she turned out to be the sweetest girl you will ever meet. Once, when everyone else was gone except for Christina and I, she asked if they could show me their favorite dances. Who would have thought?

 I came to learn in the next few weeks that everyday living is an extensive process. You see, at our house, we had no electricity or running water. You walk carrying twenty liters of water (the girls do it on their heads) uphill to the house. At night we light kerosene lamps and eat dinner in the dark except for the soft light emanating from the lamp set in the corner. We take hours to prepare for dinner and cook the food, using a wood burning stove and sigiris, or coal burners. When it gets dark, you cook in the dark. We have pit latrines. For those of you who don’t know, at pit latrine is a hole in the ground that you use when you have to go to the bathroom. Lets just say my thighs better be ripped from all the squatting we have to do… To bath you use a bucket, splashing water over yourself to get clean. We wash clothes by hand.  You wash dishes in buckets of water, using sand to clean the really dirty ones. Did I mention we had to carry water uphill to do all of these things. All of these tasks take so much time. I can’t imagine having a job and having the responsibility to finish all of these tasks for a family. It’s no wonder we eat dinner at 9 o’clock each night!

 Maama Akiiki and her family took the time each day to patiently show me how life is done in Uganda. They loved me even though I was different. I can’t imagine a better homestay experience and I owe it all to the love of one family. They are forever in my heart and I will always call that house outside of Hoima home.